You hear the phrase “girl with daddy issues” thrown around a lot in books and the media, but what does it really mean? Do you know how to really date one?
The term “girl with daddy issues” has been around for so long, but it’s had a lot of meanings over the years. Most often, it’s used to describe someone who has a dysfunctional relationship with her father or no relationship at all.
A girl with daddy issues has often been either abandoned or neglected by her father physically, emotionally, mentally, or all of these combined.
And in the dating world, being with someone with daddy issues is often frowned upon.
It’s a notion that how you handle relationships has a lot to do with your upbringing. If you’re dating a girl with daddy issues, it’s possible she could either be fast to commit or has intimacy issues altogether.https://b4d8b0bc16d118b69fc1d15c101c7ff6.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html
How are “daddy issues” identified?
The term “daddy issues” was coined in Carl Jung’s theory called “The Electra Complex.” In modern culture, the Electra Complex manifests as a woman’s tendency to seek attention from men in order to compensate for the lack of her father’s attention.
That’s why the term developed into its more casual moniker: daddy issues. When a girl projects her father’s lack of love and attention for her in the relationship, she’s then classified as a girl with daddy issues.
However, you should also know that not all girls who grew up with a neglected or absent father have daddy issues. Some girls are lucky enough to overcome this and still manage to have secure and healthy relationships with a normal attachment style.
What are the signs that a girl has daddy issues?
Let’s take a look at the signs of dady issues before get to the other details. After all, it’s not always easy to spot the signs of having these issues at first glance!
1. Sexual aggression
Although a girl with daddy issues seems to be sexually aggressive, it’s not because she puts very little value on sex. Rather, it’s the opposite. She thinks that sex defines the relationship and that it can earn things in her favor.
When you’re dating a girl with daddy issues, she can be sexually aggressive as she believes without it, you’re prone to abandon her or that you love her less. She perceives sex as one of the core foundations of a relationship.
As important as sex is, it’s not the basis of a relationship – but a girl with daddy issues has a rigid mindset that values sex a lot. She grew up without a father so she constantly thinks she has to earn her way around any relationship with a man. [Read: Sex in a relationship – what it means to a woman]
A girl with daddy issues often has problems with their clinginess. Since she was deprived of attention and love as a child, she ends up clinging to the relationship more.https://b4d8b0bc16d118b69fc1d15c101c7ff6.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html
This clinginess can often be suffocating to the receiving end, especially when they don’t understand where she’s coming from.
Whether because of childhood trauma or fear, she thinks clinginess will earn things in her favor. Unfortunately, similar to what we’ve said above, it usually backfires because these are done out of desperation, instead of affection.
She doesn’t become clingy because she wants to show her love, but because she’s afraid you’ll abandon the relationship if she doesn’t. [Read: 21 signs of a clingy girlfriend and how to help her overcome her clinginess]
3. Excessive friendliness towards guys
Women with daddy issues are easily drawn to men. You will likely see this in her response to men and women; she’ll usually be warm and friendly toward men, yet cold and aloof toward women. This is why she tends to have closer guy friends than girl friends in her group of friends.
She finds it more comfortable to be herself around men, and she acts completely stiff around women. While this can be normal even for girls without daddy issues, her friendliness with men can be excessive. It can even be perceived as flirting even without her intention, because of how close her relationships with men are.
4. Defensive barriers
Remember what we said about commitment issues? A girl with daddy issues tends to sabotage the relationship if they think you’re about to abandon them. She’d rather do the leaving first before giving you a chance to get ahead of them.
Even if this is all her mind that she’s threatened by you leaving her, she becomes defensive and unintentionally sabotages the relationship. You can expect that any time she feels threatened, she’ll want to sabotage the relationship. She might start a fight, break up with you, or even cheat, just to prevent herself from getting the first cut. [Read: Do people always leave you? Here’s how to stop sabotaging your relationships]
5. Dating older men
This is one of the most defining characteristics of a girl with daddy issues. She was deprived of the love and care she should’ve gotten from her father. So instead, she seeks this from older guys. If you observe her past relationships, her exes consist of older guys.
A woman with daddy issues might date an older man because the guy looks, acts, and feels like her father. Creepy, yes, but it’s true. This is just one of the many ways she could project her lack of a father figure even in her dating life.https://b4d8b0bc16d118b69fc1d15c101c7ff6.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html
Is it okay to date a woman with daddy issues?
A woman with daddy issues is dealing with the loss of her father’s presence and affection, whether she knows it or not. While this is true, she does not deserve any less of a man’s affection, nor is she subject to the ridicule and judgment that other people place on her.
With this being said, it’s also a personal decision on whether you’re okay with dating a girl with daddy issues. This doesn’t make her any less of a person, especially once you begin to comprehend just how painful it is to be neglected or ignored by your father.
However, this also puts a lot of pressure on you if you were to date one. You can expect a lot of clinginess and back-and-forth commitment. One minute she could be all over you and the next, she could withdraw.
She also needs someone who constantly reassures her that she’s not going to be abandoned, at least anytime soon. A girl with daddy issues grew up with a lot of trauma because of that neglect, so she needs a partner who’s willing to go through all her baggage with her and help her carry it.
Most importantly, you need to know it’s not your responsibility to fix or change her issues as this is her problem – not yours. You can help her deal with it, but you shouldn’t control her. [Read: Do you have an insecure girlfriend? 30 signs and ways to fix it for the better]
What’s it like to date a woman with daddy issues?
In terms of dating, women with daddy issues are just like any other girl. The only difference is that you know where her issues stem from. This doesn’t mean your relationship would be a walk in a park, but at least you’ll know some of the things to expect.
1. Earning her trust will be difficult
If you want a relationship with a woman who has daddy issues, you’ll have to jump through a few hoops before you get anything emotional out of her. She’ll have the biggest trust issues and it’s going to be a challenge to break down her walls.
You need to earn her trust in order to let her love you. Most importantly, you need to be patient in getting her to put her trust in you. It might take months before she trusts you with her entire heart so be sure not to break it. [Read: How to date someone with trust issues and win their trust and love]
2. She might push you away initially
Having trust issues means she’ll unintentionally sabotage a chance at a relationship with you before it even begins. She may reject you, dump you, and push you away as much as she can to see if you’re willing to stay with her. This is one of her self-sabotaging habits that not a lot of guys can handle.
However, if you stay through all of it, she’ll eventually stop pushing you away with every fiber of her being. She’ll eventually believe that you’re worth trusting and give you her heart.
The only reason she pushes you away is her belief that just like her father, everyone will neglect and abandon her eventually. [Read: What to do when she plays hard to get]
3. She might chase you down
If she likes you and you decide to move on to someone else or decide to end things, there’s a possibility that she might pursue you harder instead! This is where you’ll notice her desperation and clinginess the most.
If you haven’t guessed by now, a girl with daddy issues has major abandonment issues. If you do leave and decide to date someone else, she’ll do everything to change your mind. In this aspect, she can seem like the creepy and obsessive ex no one wants. [Read: How to help a possessive girlfriend go from clingy to amazing]https://b4d8b0bc16d118b69fc1d15c101c7ff6.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html
4. She’ll test you repeatedly
When the opportunity presents itself, she’ll test you repeatedly until you prove your trust and reliability to her.
Once you’re in a relationship with her, you might not notice that you’re actually engaged in a series of psychological tests your girl has concocted. It can seem exhausting as it’ll feel like she’ll never really completely trust you, but that’s part of the baggage that comes with dating a girl with daddy issues. [Read: What is a shit test and why women use this on all men they date]
5. She overcompensates
Whatever you need, she will do her best to provide it. That’s because she wants to reward your affection–or at least buy it. You might see it as selfishness, but you could also see it as desperation.
She gives you everything she can, which makes her all-sacrificing, but for all the wrong reasons. Whether it’s buying you material things or giving you all the affection you need, she does it so you don’t have a significant reason to leave her.
6. She’ll probably have sex with you on the first date… or, at least, sooner than you think
Part of her sexual aggressiveness is the need to have sex to secure a relationship with you. She uses sex as a bargaining chip. Instead of doing it to be intimate and closer to you, she’s doing it so the relationship works.
Sometimes, it works… but most of the time, it doesn’t. Even if it initially works, both of you will eventually realize that it was more lust than love.
7. She’s a people-pleaser
She will give you all the help you need, be there when you feel sick or sad, and be more affectionate than your own mother. She lacks setting boundaries and sticking to those boundaries for herself. Whatever you need and want, she’ll do everything to provide it, even if it’s destroying her sanity.
Women with daddy issues have a tendency to comply with men’s requests, just so they can feel wanted and needed. They didn’t grow up with a father so they make up for that lack by being a people pleaser. They can’t and won’t say no, even if their life depended on it. [Read: 20 clear signs she’s a people pleaser even if she doesn’t realize it]
8. She flirts with other guys
Unfortunately, this is part of dating a girl with daddy issues. She doesn’t mean to cheat, but her natural excessive friendliness with guys always shows. However, if you can provide enough for her, she’ll be too distracted to flirt with other men.
This puts you the pressure on you though, which is also why girls with daddy issues have difficulty managing and maintaining a long-term relationship. Even if she does, it ends up being toxic or manipulative. [Read: How to tell your girlfriend she’s too flirty with other guys]
9. Inconsistency upsets her
Girls are never fans of inconsistency with any guy, but this is all the more true for those with daddy issues. She knows when she’s getting enough attention, and she knows when she isn’t.
Even one inconsistent action can trigger her anxiety and make her believe that you either don’t love her anymore, or are breaking up with her. If there’s something you normally do to show her you love her, it’s difficult to just stop this.[Read: 5 reasons women fall for emotionally unavailable men]
10. It’s going to be a while before you meet her mother
Talk about family issues, right? Women with daddy issues are known to have even worse mommy issues. They seek what they need and want from their mother and end up being constantly disappointed.
This is why a girl with daddy issues end up with complicated relationships with their mother as well. They will probably let things settle down with their moms before they decide to bring a guy home.
So, would you date a girl with daddy issues?
As intense as she might be with her baggage, she’s also capable of giving you the best relationship of your life if given the chance.
You shouldn’t stereotype a girl with daddy issues to be complicated, toxic, manipulative, and draining. Try being in her shoes and grow up with a neglecting or absent father.