A stilted conversation isn’t fun or sexy. Learn how to keep a conversation going with a girl and look forward to more conversations and dates to come!
When I start talking to a new guy, one of my biggest pet peeves is a stilted and disjointed conversation. It’s like you just can’t keep the chat going and it’s literally fighting for its life! There might be chemistry and plenty of similar interests, but sometimes conversations just don’t flow naturally. It’s annoying, right? The answer? Learn how to keep a conversation going with a girl and save yourself the stress!
Not only is this my biggest pet peeve, but it’s also the biggest reason I don’t continue seeing a person. How can I expect to have a relationship with someone when we can’t even have a conversation? To me, that’s a red flag.
[Read: 17 relationship red flags that most people completely ignore]
Why is this such an issue for most girls?
Look, I get it, nerves play a part and you’re trying to impress. However, if you can’t have a conversation, how are you supposed to get to know one another? How am I supposed to figure out if this guy is someone I want to get to know better?
Most girls aren’t ogres about this. We understand that speaking to someone you don’t know is hard. However, there are certain things in life you just have to try and get over. By doing your homework and by learning how to keep a conversation going with a girl, you’ll be able to sidestep this issue in your own love life.
I also think, if this guy can’t hold a conversation without it going flat, what else can’t he do without it stuttering and failing? I mean come on, it does make you wonder!
Despite the humor, having a conversation is the only way to get to know someone and nervous or not, it has to be done.
It’s the single best way for both sides to learn more and it’s something to fall back on in an established relationship when things become tough. If you can’t have a conversation now, what makes you think you’re going to be able to later in the relationship?
[Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters]
How to keep a conversation going with a girl
It’s not just bad chemistry that can make a conversation go flat. There’s actually a lot of different reasons that cause awkwardness. Luckily, a lot of those reasons have to do with the guy – or even both of you – not knowing what you need to do to get, and keep, talking.
If you really like a girl, then your best chance at making her yours is to be a great conversationalist. No one will want to stay away from someone that they love talking to. Here’s how to keep a conversation going with a girl you really like.
If you want a full guide on how to approach and impress girls, start here with this guide on how to talk to a girl and all the secrets to smooth talk and impress girls.
1. Be prepared
If you show up for a date or enter into a conversation not having anything to talk about, you’re going to fall flat. You have to be prepared for all different types of conversations if you want to keep a conversation going with a girl.
Not only do you have to be prepared for topics, but you have to be in a mindset that is prepared to be calm and collected.
Most of the time, a person’s nerves will get in the way and they’ll be too caught up in their own nervousness. Then, they won’t be able to hold a proper conversation. [Read: 20 little ways to perfect your first conversation with a girl you like]
2. Talk about her interests
Someone once told me that if I really wanted to get to know someone, I should ask what they LIKE to do instead of what they do for a living. While it is obviously a topic that will come up at some point or another, never start out with talking about work.
This brings up stress from work and can cause a person’s mood to shift. If you ask them what they like to do, you’ll get them talking about their passions and they’ll not only have a lot to say about it, they’ll be in a much better mood. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]
3. If she seems chatty, stick with that topic
Too many guys make the mistake of switching topics just when a girl starts getting excited about one. This is usually because they fear the conversation going dead. They want to make sure they have something else to talk about.
However, that actually creates the opposite effect than what people intend to do. She’ll just be bummed that you skipped over that topic and you’ll run out of things to say.
When a girl seems to be liking the topic you’re discussing, don’t stop talking about it until she ends it. [Read: 20 signs of attraction to watch out for in a conversation]
4. Ask questions
The best thing to do in order to keep the conversation going is to keep asking questions. Don’t necessarily make it seem like an interview, so don’t listen to what her favorite band is and then move on. Ask her why it’s her favorite, If she’s ever seen them in concert, etc.
Asking questions not only allows you to get to know her better. It also allows new topics to arise during the conversation. Keeping a conversation going with a girl involves asking detailed questions about different topics. [Read: 20 funny questions to ask a girl and leave her ROFL]
5. Use other people’s stories/experiences, too
You don’t have to just stick to what you know. If she’s talking about something that you know a friend had a really funny story about, go ahead and share it. Pulling from someone else’s experiences gives you more material to cover.
Not only will you keep the conversation going with a girl, but you’ll also give her insight into your life with your friends and/or family. Then, she’ll be able to get to know you better as well. [Read: 20 Intellectual conversation topics that ignite meaningful communication]
6. Don’t interrupt her when she’s speaking
I know it’s hard not to interject when you think of something that relates to something she’s talking about. This is especially hard if you don’t want to forget it. But you must avoid it at all costs.
Try to hold onto those thoughts until she’s done with what she’s talking about and then bring them up. It’ll keep the conversation flowing smoothly. Also, she won’t feel like you’re trying to shut her up by cutting her off. [Read: The complete guide to keep a conversation going smoothly with the opposite sex]
7. Avoid ‘yes’ and ‘no’ questions – ask open-ended questions instead
You should definitely be asking a lot of questions, but make sure they’re open-ended. Asking yes or no questions can seem like the way to go if you want to keep a conversation going with a girl, but you’re only limiting her to using those words.
Asking open-ended questions or asking her to elaborate on something somewhat forces her to open up more and talk more. This will make the conversation seamless as well.
8. Pre-plan some topics and have them ready to go
It may seem lame to have a list ready to go about topics to talk about, but if you really want to keep a conversation going with a girl, then it might be your only hope. [Read: How to talk to your crush no matter where you are and impress her]
Now, you don’t have to keep a list out during a dinner date and cross certain things off – that may actually be creepy – but you should have a mental checklist. Talk about her hobbies, pets, family, job, and even something about her college life. Knowing what to talk about next will save you when it seems like the conversation is taking a downhill turn.
9. Embrace awkward silences and make them funny
Even if you’re over-prepared, there will probably be moments of silence anyways. The best thing you can do for these is to just acknowledge them and bring some humor to the moment.
Better yet, talk about how you love or hate awkward moments because they’re so funny. You can even bring up a previous funny story about an awkward moment so you can start a conversation about that. [Read: The right way to discreetly touch a girl and make her desire you]
10. Remember that conversations are two-way deals
There are just some girls out there that suck at having a conversation. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They may either just not be good at talking to someone or they may not be interested in you – which isn’t your fault.
Just remember that you can try all the tricks in the book, but if the other person isn’t putting forth the effort, then it’s not going to be a successful conversation. As long as you try your best to keep the conversation going with a girl, that’s all that matters. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 14 steps to a better love]
11. Don’t be afraid to be quirky
Sometimes it’s the odd comments and the quirky things that keep a conversation flowing. Don’t worry if you end up saying something that in hindsight seem a little weird. That’s probably a real conversation starter and something that will keep the chat going.
[Read: The subtle art of talking to girls and leaving them swooning]
In order to successfully pick up a girl and have the best chances of making her yours, you’re going to need to keep a great conversation going. For those of you who tend to let discussions fall flat, following these tips on how to keep a conversation going with a girl can definitely help you make a great impression.